DARCY
All right then. Let's have a look at this pond of yours.
LIZZY
No, not yet. Let's open a bottle of wine first.
DARCY
Well, why don't you start on the wine while I go have a quick wash.
LIZZY
If you insist, Mr. Darcy. But first open up a bottle for me.
DARCY
Okay. ...There. Now don't drink it too fast. I'll be back soon.
(Fifteen minutes later)
LIZZY
Oh, Mr. Darshy. I see you found the pond.
DARCY
Yes, but I'm not quite finished.
LIZZY
What's taking you so long? Do you need any ash...assishtance?
DARCY
Lizzy. Did you leave any wine for me?
LIZZY
Yes, dear. I brought you a glass. I'd better bring it to you
before I spill any more of it.
DARCY
But Lizzy, I'm sitting in three feet of water. You'll ruin your dress.
LIZZY
Well, then I'll have to, um ...don't turn around for a moment, dear.
I'm getting ready to bring you your wine.
DARCY
But Lizzy, the wine can wait until --
LIZZY
Oh, Mr. Darcy! My god! Your shoulder-blades!
DARCY
What?
LIZZY
Oh, dear. Thank heaven I came just in time.
Surely you can't reach your shoulder-blades all by yourself.
DARCY
Lizzy, I'm in a rather awkward state here.
LIZZY
Here I come.
My goodness, the water feels nice.
DARCY
Lizzy, are you --
LIZZY
Here's your wine, my love. I spilled a bit of it, but I believe
there's at least one good gulp left.
Now don't turn around, dear.
DARCY
Mmmm. That is excellent. From your father's cellar?
LIZZY
My word. Do all young men have so many muscles?
DARCY
I'll have to open another bottle. If there's any left.
LIZZY
I'll go get another bottle. Let me take your glass. I'll be right
back. Now don't turn around, dear.
DARCY
Can't I turn around and see your shoulder-blades? ...Oh,
my god!
LIZZY
Mr. Darcy!
DARCY
Oh my god. Don't move.
LIZZY
You're looking! Well I'm not coming back to you until you close
your eyes. After all, I must preserve at least a modicum of
dinigity, ...dinigy, ...um, modesty.
DARCY
Too late for that, my dear.
(Ten minutes later)
LIZZY
Here's another bottle. I opened it myself. Dropped it, though.
DARCY
Can I turn around?
LIZZY
Oh, no. We're not married yet.
DARCY
Come out from behind that tree.
LIZZY
Here I come...
Turn back around so I can get my hands on your scapuli.
DARCY
My what?
LIZZY
When I was little I used to pretend that I was a doctor.
I learned a lot of medical terms.
DARCY
I see.
LIZZY
It may take quite some time for me to do justice to your shoulders,
dearest. How does that feel?
DARCY
Oh, Lizzy. Lower. Use your fingernails.
LIZZY
Perhaps I could wash your shoulders more easily if I sat in your
lap and reached around.
DARCY
Oh. Um, well...
LIZZY
And I could kiss you at the same time. But close your eyes first.
DARCY
What? Why?
LIZZY
Because we're not married yet.
DARCY
Oh, all right.
LIZZY
Okay, here I come. ...My word! What is that?
DARCY
I thought you knew all the medical terms.
LIZZY
How did I miss that one?