DARCY
It's all for the best, Bingley.
BINGLEY
Oh, leave me alone, Darcy. ...Blast! Explain to me
why I have to leave Netherfield just because I enjoy socializing
with the natives.
DARCY
You went a bit too far with your socializing.
BINGLEY
So I like Miss Jane Bennet and paid her some attention. Why
am I not allowed some pleasure with the opposite sex? I haven't
asked for her hand yet if that's what you're worried about.
I'm not sure she even likes me all that much.
DARCY
That's just it, Bingley. Would you want to get attached to a
woman who was not in love with you? I think her mother is more in love
with you than she is.
BINGLEY
Your dance with Bennet Number Two didn't go too well I gather, from
what I could make of the tone of your conversation. Is
that the real reason we're leaving Netherfield so suddenly?
Trouble with Miss Elizabeth?
DARCY
Nonsense. Look, Bingley, both your sisters agree that Netherfield
was a big mistake.
BINGLEY
The only mistake I've made is letting my sisters run my life.
You should see the type of woman that Caroline sends my way.
Vultures! Like that Margaret Bloody Blethyn.
DARCY
Bingley!
BINGLEY
Well, I'm fed up with everyone's interference. I have half a
mind to turn this carriage around.
DARCY
Your sisters are packing their belongings and they're leaving in a few
days. You can't really run Netherfield by yourself,
Bingley.
BINGLEY
Well, perhaps Miss Bennet would be willing to help me run it.
DARCY
Netherfield is quite a handful, Bingley.
BINGLEY
Well, you needn't worry about Miss Elizabeth's influence on you any
longer. I expect she's receiving a proposal of marriage from
that Mr. Collins even as we speak.
DARCY
What? What?
BINGLEY
This is the rumour that I heard last night at the ball.
Mr. Collins paid a good deal of attention to her. Did
you not notice? He even danced with her before you did.
DARCY
What? Turn this carriage around!
BINGLEY
Oh, Darcy... I'm going to miss Hertfordshire dreadfully.
DARCY
That odious rector? That simpering little --
BINGLEY
Darcy, would you help me write a letter to Miss Bennet?