Nov 26, 1811
As the Netherfield Ball is starting
BINGLEY
Well, Darcy. Are you in a dancing mood tonight?
DARCY
Well, I was out riding today, so don't expect --
BINGLEY
Look. You're one of the hosts tonight --
DARCY
I am no such thing.
BINGLEY
-- and I hope you'll act accordingly.
DARCY
There's no need to treat me like a servant, Bingley.
BINGLEY
If you're not going to be sociable, Darcy, then you might as well just help out in the kitchen.

MISS BINGLEY
Oh, Mr. Darcy. I really don't relish the idea of being stomped upon by a muddy-booted corn-husker tonight.
DARCY
Oh, I'm sure there'll be lots of --
MISS BINGLEY
You can take every dance with me, if you wish.
DARCY
Well, I need to keep my eye on your brother.
MISS BINGLEY
Oh, yes. That's true.
DARCY
I believe the costermonger's son will be searching you out for the first dance.
MISS BINGLEY
Oh, dear. Perhaps I could hide behind you if he approaches. You could block his view.

BINGLEY
Darcy, when Miss Jane arrives, I want you to take Miss Elizabeth away somewhere and leave Jane alone with me. Those two are inseparable at these get-togethers.
DARCY
No, Bingley, I believe that Miss Elizabeth is usually chatting with Miss Lucas. Miss Bennet is generally with her mother.
BINGLEY
So dance with her mother then. I want to be alone with Number One as much as possible.
DARCY
Don't worry. Their mother will probably push Miss Bennet right into your lap.
BINGLEY
I hope you're right, Darcy. The only reason I threw this ball in the first place was to dance with Miss Bennet.
DARCY
Look here, Bingley, you're going to have to take care what you say to her.
BINGLEY
Perhaps you and I should agree on some hand signals.
DARCY
Look, Bingley. You're the host of this ball. You really should be dancing with every unmarried female who attends. You can't be seen favouring Miss Bennet all night long.
BINGLEY
I don't give a wild goose-feather for the other ladies, Darcy. I plan on spending a lot of time with Bennet Number One tonight. Steer clear of her, will you?

DARCY
Louisa, your brother is adamant about Miss Bennet. He might even try to secure her hand tonight for all I know.
LOUISA
Well, let him have his fun. He is the host after all.
DARCY
He shouldn't be favouring Miss Bennet all night long.
LOUISA
Just don't you be dancing with her sister. Take Caroline out for the first two dances.

HURST
Well, Darcy...
DARCY
Well?
HURST
I hope Miss King wears the same dress that she was wearing at that ball in Meryton. They don't build women like that any more, Darcy.
DARCY
Perhaps you'd better cool off in the billiard room, Hurst.
HURST
I've been trying to think of a way to get her to dance with me. I might need your help.
DARCY
You're on your own, my friend.
HURST
I can't just walk up to her and ask her to dance. I'm a married man. How would that look?
DARCY
When has that ever stopped you?
HURST
Look here. Why don't you yourself ask Miss King to dance, and then I'll come over and say that Bingley needs you.
DARCY
Good grief, Hurst. I don't expect to be anywhere in the vicinity of Miss King tonight, that's for sure.
HURST
Well, the guests are starting to arrive. Oh, look! There's Miss King!
Next dialogue: the Netherfield Ball
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